Life As We Know It
by PsychoBarbie
Summary: Formerly Bored at work series... Various one shots about various characters and pairings in wrestling,.. different summary for each... give it a shot
1. Would You Believe?

I know i still have my other stories to do but i cna't work on those at work because i ahve it all down on  
paper.. this is just a little story i wrtoe while at  
work and in between calls... It's probably something i  
will be throwing out there whenever it striked my  
fancy, so here is what i hafta say to you guys...  
If there is a pairing you want. lemme know and i'll  
do a one shot.  
IF there is something you wnat to see in it, nothing  
too complicated lemme know an i'll throw it in there.  
if there is a certain line you would like to see  
lemme know.. like in this story i took the first line  
and went from there.. i didn't even know who the  
characters would be until the ende.. and neither would  
you..  
so this is open to anyone to throw a pairing at  
me...It can be 2 wrestlers, 2 BTVS characters or mix  
and match, whichever you want.. just so you know i'm  
not so good with the PWP, actually i suck at writing  
it but i'm able to do pretty much anything else, if  
there's a problem i will tell you... so after all  
this... Enjoy reading my little one shot.. it'll be  
the "Bored at Work Series" That means me not the  
characters... lol

* * *

Title: Would you believe me? 1/1 (bored at work  
series)

Author: Harmoni

category:WWE

rating:E for everyone

pairing/characters: yes like i'd tell you..lol

summary: He's at the end of his rope, what can she do  
to make him stay? saying those 3 words might help but  
will she be telling the truth?

discalimer: I do not own anything at all.. if i did, i  
probably wouldn't ahve started this series.

notes: i'm at work with no spelling or grammar tool, i  
tried my best that's all i can say..

* * *

"If I told you I loved you, would you believe me?"

"No."

"Neither would I."

"Then why say it?"

"I didn't."

"But you were thinking about it."

"Yeah."

There was silence, then,

"Well, why?"

"Why what?"

"Why were you thinking about saying it?"

"Cause I might."

"might what?"

"love you."

"But you said you wouldn't believe it yourself."

"I did. didn't I?

He threw his amrs up in frustration, "Why can't you just speak the truth? See, now this is why i never believe you about anything. How the hell am I suppossed to believe you if you can't speak thetruth?"

She turned to him, a hurt look on her face. "I always speak my mind."

"Then maybe your mind is lying to you, or somethin'"

"No I just say what's in it, why can't you accept that?"

He sighed and stepped forward his arms out as if to take her in them but he stopped and let them fall to his side. "I've tried accepting it. I know you're not like the others, you're one of a kind baby girl but why-" he sighed running a hand through his hair. -"why can't you love me the way I love you."

She gave a sad, soft smile, her hand reaching out as if to touch his cheek but she also let her hand drop. "But i might."

"No you don't."

"Do you know that? You said yourself you don't believe everything I say, perhaps I do love you."

"You can't keep giving me the runaround, which is it? Either you love me or you don't."

She sighed and faced the window.

"You're silence isn't helping."

"I'm sorry." She replied.

She didn't see the cresfallen look on his face.

"I want to answer you but I can't."

The look disappeared, he believed she was saying she didn't love him but perhaps...

"Why can't you answer me? Is there someone else?"

"John." she whispered fighting back the tears. "Why would you say that?"

"You don't have the best track record."

She spun around now, fire in her eyes as she glared at him. "I can't believe you just said that."

"And i can't believe you're not answering my question."

"You expect me to answer that after what you just said to me?"

"What do you want me to do? I love you so much but whenever I tell you, you never say anything back. How do I know I'm not just another guy in your collection? Last year you went from Matt to Kane to Edge before I came across you, I only helped you cause you looked lost an' broken an' I couldn't just leave you there like that. But then I started to love you an' I've told you time an' time again . Since then you haven't opened up to me. All I ever do is tell you I love you, I've stayed by your side when you're crying an' I do whatever you ask me. but am I just convienent? Will you just toss me away when someone else comes along?"

Again she turned away she didn't want him to see the tears. True she did cry in front of him, a lot, but she hated it. If only he knew what was going on in her mind. True her past wasn't that great, yes there was a time where she bounced around between 3 different guys  
and he had saved her. She had never loved Edge. He was convienent. He was a way for her to get out of her marriage with Kane but even that was messed up when Matt came back and he thought she had betrayed him but she didn't she was only playing a role. One that he didn't understand.

Then He came along She was broken, done, ready to give up and all alone until he found her and now a year later they were still together... sort of... Yes he said he loved her and he didn't push her into returning it. But she drove him crazy, she knew that much and yet he still stayed with her and lately she had been asking herself did she love him? Had she been denying herself this whole time? Quite possibly, but speaking those words out loud... It was hard, and he said he wouldn't believe her but she was lying when she said she wouldn't believe herself either. She was just too afraid to say anything.

"Baby girl, I can't do this anymore. I love you so much it hurts, but I can't do this anymore.

Someone else that was leaving her, but it was her fault, it was her doing.

He moved to the door and she tried her hardest to say what she had to.

"Good bye Lita." He whispered as he opened the door.

"I'm pregnant." She cried. The truth but maybe not the exact words she wnated to say but this he had to know  
too. She was afraid to tell him but it was only fair and this time there was no question who the father  
was.

The door slammed shut and she closed her eyes, slowly counting to ten in her head to stop the tears from pouring out.

Finally she turned around, knowing he was gone for good but when she opened her eyes, he still stood there, a big smile on his face.

"You believe me?" She asked.

"Do you love me?" He answered with a question of his own.

Hesitantly she nodded, and he knew she was telling the truth.

"That's all i need to hear."

He rushed forward and lifted her up into a circle gently putting her down as their lips met in a long  
passionate kiss.


	2. txt msgs

Here is story 2... yay... work ahs been crzy but  
it'll start slowing down, but i broke my finger so it  
might be awhile.. go me go..

The idea for this came from my friend who works with  
me who is kinda going through something like this..  
unfortunately it wasn't a happy ending...

anywho enjoy

* * *

Title: txt msgs 1/1 (Bored at work  
series)

Author: Harmoni

category:WWE

rating:E for everyone

pairing/characters: Christy, Stacy/Randy

summary:let your fingers do the talking...but can you  
have feelings for someone your text messaging? Is it  
even right when your best friend dated them?

discalimer: I do not own anything at all.. if i did, i  
probably wouldn't have started this series.

notes: i'm at work with no spelling or grammar tool, i  
tried my best that's all i can say...

* * *

Christy smiled and bit her lip as she stared down at the text message she just received.

"What's the smile for?"

She looked up, trying to hide the guilty look on her face, "N-nothing." she replied.

Stacy smiled at the red headed diva. "Are you texting that guy again?"

Christy's mouth dropped in surprise. "That guy? What guy? I never said I was texting a guy."

"I've seen the way you look whenever your phone goes off and you read the text. It has to be a guy. So who is it?"

"No one." she replied, deleting the message.

"Oh come on Christy, who am I going to tell? I'm not gonna make fun of you."

"No one." The energetic diva firmly said again.

Stacy rolled her eyes as she stood up, "Fine. I'm gonna go talk to some people, I'll catch up with you before our match."

"Okay." Christy replied, waiting until the long legged diva left before she pulled out her phone and quickly typed a reply.

'Stacy was just here & she knows i'm tlkin 2 a guy & wants to know who. This isn't right.'

She sent the message and put the phone down,standing to get ready for her match against Stacy. As she finished changing, she heard her phone go off and she turned to snatch it up, quickly going to the message.

"why isn't it right? we nvr really broke it off. U both were here & the nxt day u were gone. She hasn't rtnd my calls or nethin. But cuz of that we strtd tlking. is that so bad?"

She sighed. He was right, was it so bad? Stacy never did break it off. they were traded from Raw to Smackdown and she never really said good bye they just left and showed up on Smackdown. In fact Christy never even knew there were problems between them until he called her one night about 3 weeks after they left Raw. When she answered he sounded so sad and dejected as he told her that Stacy wasn't returning any of his calls. He had called so many times and left so many messages but she never answered and never called him back. Christy made it her mission to find out what was going on but when she did talk to Stacy, the 2005 Babe of the Year shrugged it off.

"We were never that serious, and now we're on different shows, it's just to hard. So it was a fling and it's done."

Christy couldn't believe her friend could be so callous but she wouldn't listen to her protests and her begging to call him so it was left to her.

Calling him and giving him the bad news was hard but not as hard as she thought it would be. They talked for awhile after and she only hung up when she was sure he seemed okay. She was upset for him that it ended that way but thought nothing more of it really. It was Stacy's choice and if she didn't have the decency call him what more could she do?

The next morning she recieved a text from him thanking her for talking and listening to him. She had replied back telling him it was no problem and if he ever needed to talk, she was there. It was probably from there that things began to snowball.

He started text messaging her a few times a day to see how things were, to talk, anything basically and she always replied back. Stacy seemed busy with something she wouldn't talk about and she was feeling lonely, not knowing too many people from Smackdown. So she texted him, feeling it was her last link to Raw. It was where she won the Diva search and started her career as a WWE Diva. it was where she learned how to wrestle, where she fought the Women's Champion Trish and didn't do too badly , if she didn't mind saying so herself. And then she was told one day she was going to Smackdown. She guessed now that there was a new Diva winner, she wasn't really needed over there. And  
now she didn't know anyone over here. Well she knew Batista and Randy and Chris Benoit and the others that were traded but she never really talked to any of  
them. Their was that one time she went out on a date with Dave but nothing really happened. She never talked to Randy after he RKO'd Stacy, honestly, who does that to their girlfriend? And she never talked to Benoit. Then Stacy decided to be all mysterious and would disappear without so much as a word to her. Not just at the arena but at night and during the day. So basically she was all alone and when he started texting her, what was she supposed to do. It was a link to the old brand. The brand where she had left  
all her friends.

Her phone buzzed again and he had sent another text, she realised she had been sitting there thinking for a long time.

'U havn't msgd back. r u ok? look, truth be told, I strtd tlking 2 u cuz i was lonely & upset. But i luv talkin 2 u, & i'm glad it's done btwn us and she didn't call, Otherwise i nvr woulda tlkd to u. i can't wait 2 c u again."

Christy gasped as she read the last sentence. True they talked but that was it. Never before had they talked of meeting up.

'See me? i dunno if we should meet up...Stacy is my best friend she wold be livid if she knew we were tlkin. i'm sorry but meeting isn't good.. i dunno if txtin is either.'

She sent the message with a sigh. She wanted to conitnue talking but it was wrong. Not so wrong to talk but wrong to have these feelings she was having. Yes, she was getting feelings for someone that she was text messaging with and occasionally talking on the phone to, was that even possible? She hadn't seen him in the 2 months she had been on Smackdown, so really, was it possible? She didn't know but she knew it was wrong to have these feelings. He went out with her best friend and that was a big no no in the book of how to be a good girl friend, it was an unwritten rule, really.

Again her cell phone buzzed and she looked at the message.

'Wat hppnd? somethin did, i can tell. i thought u likd tlkin 2 me. wat chngd? i've been nothin but honest with u. can't u rtn the favor?'

'Nothin hppnd, except my guilty conscience. i'm sorry but we can't talk anymore. i enjoyed our talks but it stops here. i have a match, i gotta bye'

She dropped the phone in her bag and left before he could respond, she didn't want to read his response. It hurt to say good bye but she couldn't continue on with this.

"Where are you going?" Stacy asked as she went to enter the room just as Christy was leaving.

The red head refused to look up as she shook her head. "I have to speak to someone I gotta go."

She rushed away leaving the blonde staring after her a look of confusion on her face. Stacy entered the locker room and heard Christy's phone vibrating. Thinking someone was calling her, she picked up the phone to see it was a message.

Now, Stacy knew Christy had been talking to someone a lot through texting but everytime she asked the hyper Diva, the smile left her face and she denied everything. Stacy also had a feeling she knew who it was and she honestly didn't care. Christy had started with the messaging about the same time she had asked her about him. She was never serious about him and once she left Raw, she left him too. She didn't love him, she was only with him because he saved her one time and she felt obliged but the feelings he had for her weren't shared on her side. She loved someone else. Still loved someone else and when she was traded she was able to be with him. She hadn't told Christy though because she would've been appalled. Appalled at the way she had just dumped him and appalled that she was once again seeing the Legend Killer. So she kept it quiet and never told the Diva Search Winner where she was going. She wasn't the only one hiding something, apparently so was Christy and now as curiosity got the better of her and she opened the message, it confirmed just who Christy had been talking to and she couldn't be happier. Stacy didn't want to be a snoop but she read the last few messages and saw what Christy had said. No wonder she looked so upset when she left the room. Now she only had to come up with a way for Christy to know that she knew without saying anything up front., she would have to come up with something. She read the last message a smile coming to her face.

'Fine good luck in ur match. ill be watchin.'

Stacy smiled. It was Tuesday, he wouldn't see the match until Friday, unless... thinking of something, she typed up a reply.

'where? are u here? come to my locker room after my match i wanna talk."

She put the phone back and left the room. She rushed over to the gorilla and saw Christy waiting by the curtain. Staying out of site Stacy lifted her phone to her ear, pretending she was talking on it. She announced in a really loud voice so Christy could hear.

"Oh Randy, I'm so glad we're back together."

She waited a few moments until she was sure Christy was around the corner and listening.

"No I haven't told Christy but i think she's hiding something too. I think she's been talking to my ex... no I'm not mad, I couldn't be happier for her, I hope they get together soon because she looked upset and I hope she's not holding back because of me...no I haven't talked to her about it... she doesn't think I know... when I tell her about us, hopefully she'll tell me about them, if not I'll just tell her to go get him...yes my match is up, I'll talk to you later...I love you too... bye."

Stacy hung up and waited a few seconds before walking to where Christy was, she was standing in front of the curtains, but she had the sparkle back in her eyes.

"Hey Stace."

"Hey, you look better, have a good talk?"

"I guess you can say that. Look I need to talk to you about something."

"Talk to me after." Stacy said as she stepped out onto the ramp, a big smile plastered on her face.

Christy watched the tall Diva and shook her head in amazement. She had overheard a conversation between Stacy and Randy, who she was seeing again. She couldn't believe it really but then she heard Stacy say she wanted them to get together. Now she just had  
to tell Stace and then text him back. Perhaps it was okay to have these feelings after all.

Her music started and she went out there to have a great match with Stacy, pulling out a victory against her friend. As they went to the back, she again tried to talk to Stacy who brushed her off saying she had to be somewhere and she would meet her in their locker  
room.

Christy nodded hurrying back to the locker room to change. She opened the door stopping in surprise at her visitor.

"Is it the hair? Cause I can change the color." He wanted to get a laugh out of her but she only looked on in shock

"Wh-what are you doing here?"

He gave her a confused look. "You told me to come  
here."

"No i didn't. I told you we couldn't do this anymore."

He held out his phone and she hesitantly stepped forward to view the message.

where? are u here? come to my locker room i wanna talk."

It was her number, true, but she didn't write that.

"I didn't write that. Why are you here? At Smackdown?"

He pulled the phone away, a look of hurt on his face. He thought for sure when he showed up that she would be happy to see him. Perhaps it was a bad idea.

"I came to see you." He told her, running a hand through his hair. "Christy, all I ever think about is you. You're on my mind all the time and I don't think that's wrong at all. I can tell by the way you're feeling so guilty that you have these feelings too. So why try and ignore it?"

"Stacy is my best friend." She whispered. "You were right, I do feel the same way but I thought it was wrong. I don't agree with what Stacy did to you but I didn't think I would be a good friend if I let something happen between us."

His heart sank. The short itme they had talked on the phone nad started text messaging, he had fallen hard. He had never fet this way with Stacy or any other women he had been with so he knew this was special. Today he showed up at Smackdown and planned to take her out for dinner and confess how he really felt but it looked like she was willing to let her guilty conscience take charge and not explore what could happen between them.

"Why did you text me and tell me to come here." He miserably asked.

"I told you I didn't." Christy replied with a small smile. "Stacy did."

He looked up in surprise, waiting for her to continue.

"I just figured it out. I bumped into her after I left for my match and she must've come in here and looked at my phone and texted you. Right before my match I heard her talking to Randy. Yes Randy, she's seeing him again but she was hoping that we were talking and would get together. She said she didn't want me to hold back because of her. I have a feeling she planned this."

"So you mean..."

Christy broke out into a huge grin and he did the same. It was that grin he fell in love with watching every Thursday night on Smackdown.

"I mean that you don't have to change your hair color. I love it green. I'll love it any other color as long as it's on you."

He rushed forward pulling her into a long embrace.

"Christy, I've wanted to tell you how I felt for so long, I've wanted to come see you. I couldn't wait I had to come tonight."

She smiled up at him, running her fingers through his green hair.

"I'm glad you did Shane. I was in need of a Superhero."

He pulled her close again. "I'll always be your superhero Christy." He whispered into her hair.

Christy smiled and leaned up for a kiss.

She was glad thst Stacy had meddled, otherwise she never would have said anything and he wouldn't be here now, holding her, like she had wanted since they started talking.

Text messaging, a simple form of communication but it could do oh so much.

* * *


	3. A Little Understanding

Thanks to TwistedBeauty and Justagirl for your reviews

Title: A Little Understanding 1/1 (Bored at work  
series)

Author: Harmoni

category:WWE

rating:T for teen

summary:Is a little Understanding too much to ask for?

discalimer: I do not own anything at all.. if i did, i  
probably wouldn't have started this series.

notes: Just to give you all a heads up, this is a  
little bit darker then previous ones. I had a bad day,  
hence hte first line, actually this whole week has  
been crappy, nothing really in particular, just...  
stuff... so this is what popped out, a little  
angriness, a little bitterness, a little pain...

i'm at work with no spelling or grammar tool, i  
tried my best that's all i can say...

* * *

It was a bad day.

She got them sometimes.

But he didn't understand.

She stared at herself in the mirror, staring at what  
she had become, what she was, what she could not  
change.

There was another line there, one that was not there  
yesterday. She saw new lines on her face everyday and  
everytime she pointed them out, he laughed at her.

He didn't understand.

She hated where her life was now. She had no job and  
even if she wanted to work, she was unable to. Who  
would come see her if she was forbidden to use her  
name. Who even knew her as her real name?

The Diva Formerly known as Molly Holly sighed and  
leaned closer to the mirror after closer examintaion  
she turned away in disgust.

What had she become?

Just months ago, she was a WWE Diva. One of the few  
that could actually wrestle but no one realised that  
with the way they had her lose to Christy Hemme time  
and time again. It was insulting. She was a former  
Women's Champion. It was degrading that they let a  
Diva Search winner, someone with no expreience,  
someone who couldn't wrestle herself out of a  
paperbag, beat her, over and over again. She didn't  
see Trish losing to her. But Trish was their golden  
girl and now she was- well, she was nothing now. She  
had no job, no work on the horizon, no identity. She  
was just Nora, plain old boring Nora. And she hated  
it. It gnawed at her that while she sat at home, the  
people that she called her friends were still in the  
WWE, their jobs still intact. While she sat at home  
day after day, he still traveled and it bugged her, it  
ate at her insides, it pissed her off.

He didn't understand that either.

He said it was her fault, it was her decision. She  
chose to leave and she did. But what choice did she  
have, really? They had already fired Jazz, Gail, and  
Nidia. They had to make room for the wannabe Divas to  
come in but when they had her lose to Chritsy, she  
knew there was only a matter of time before she had to  
lose to another. Probably to Candace Michelle, who  
would do what? Her Godaddy commercial over nad over  
again until she fell over and died from boredom?

Was she a little bitter? Yeah she would admit that she  
was a little more then bitter. There they were getting  
paid more then she ever did and they did nothing but  
show off their fake breasts. She worked her ass off to  
get as far as she did and it was embarrasing to go out  
there week after week and lose. What choice did she  
have really but to ask for her release. They were all  
too happy to give it to her and it showed just how  
valuable she really was. Did her hard work in the  
company mean nothing? She worked her ass off to bring  
that women's division up and now it was being buried  
back in the ground again.

But her complaints fell on deaf ears. He had no time  
for her anymore. He was still with the company, still  
one of the top players and he wasn't willing to listen  
to her, to help her through her hard time. He didn't  
care.

He just didn't understand.

That company could just as easily screw him over when  
he least expected it, he could end up in the same boat  
as her, being pushed aside for somone younger and  
hotter and in his case more talented. For guys it was  
all about the skills, for the Divas, who had the  
biggest breasts, or who was most willing to strip down  
for Playboy.

But he didn't believe it. The company always pushed  
him and deep inside she knew that they wouldn't be  
screwing him over anytime soon, oh no, not after they  
moved him over to Raw and had him competing for the  
belt. He was still big, still considered one of the  
bests and he no longer had time for her. He barely  
came home now and when she bugged him about he said he  
was busy with something. She was sure it was with  
someone. She drove him nuts now, she knew that.  
Everytime she complained about something he would sigh  
and roll his eyes. Did he not see how hard this was  
for her? She had her bad days, sometimes they were  
worse then others. They were coming on more frequently  
and she didn' want to be around anymore to deal with  
it, apparently neither did he.

Because he didn't understand.

She went into their bedroom and sat down on the bed,  
staring at her surroundings, staring down at the  
ridiculous teddy she was to put on for him when he  
came but he didn't come home. Again. he called to say  
he was held up with WWE stuff. She knew he was lying.  
She used to have the same crazy schedule, perhaps a  
little more so with all the photoshoots but she was  
home more then he ever was now. Tonight was going to  
be the last chance. She wanted to fix everything, make  
it all better even if it killed her...and it just  
might, but she wouldn't have anything fixed. Perhaps  
it was too late for that.

Going into the closet she reached into the back  
feeling around until her hand grasped the object she  
was searching for. Throwing it on the bed, she left  
the room, returning minutes later with items she  
wanted and throwing them on the bed as well. She then  
went around the room gathering more of her belongings  
before throwing them on the bed too. When she had  
everything she threw it all in the suitcase. The blue  
teddy she had bought just this morning still sat on a  
hanger and she grabbed it, taking a pair of scissors  
to it and cutting it up until it was in pieces on the  
bed. She was tempted to burn it to be honest but  
didn't want to risk burning down the house. How else  
would he see her handy work.

Packing up her suitcase, she brought it downstairs  
putting it at the front door before returning up  
stairs to the bathroom.

She looked in the mirror again, staring at, not Molly  
Holly but plain old boring Nora. Is this what he saw  
now? Not the WWE Diva but plain old boring Nora. Is  
that what made him stay away? Was she that repulsive  
without that WWE Diva title?

Screaming, she slammed her hand into the mirror,  
breaking it. The shards came raining down on her,  
cutting her hand, scratching her arm and face and as  
the blood started to trail down her arm, she couldn't  
help but like the feeling of it. Something besides  
anger, resentment, bitterness went through her. It was  
pain and it almost brought a smile to her face.  
Placing her hands on the sink, she ignored the blood  
dripping down and leaned forward, looking at herself  
in the few jagged pieces that managed to remain  
intact.. She liked it. It appeared warped, disfigured,  
exactly how she felt., and this time she did smile, a  
look of determintaion appearing in her eyes.

Opening the cabinet, she put her bloodied arm in,  
sweeping everything out and listening to the sweet  
sound of all his crap crashing to the floor, that's  
all it was now, crap. The scent of cologne, deoderant,  
hair products and blood invaded her nostrils and she  
turned on her heel a triumphant look now in her eyes  
as she stopmed towards the bedroom. This was only the  
beginning.

Half an hour later, she stood in the middle of the  
bedrroom, panting as she turned around to survey the  
damage. She had kicked the mirror on the closet door  
breaking that one too and then had gone into his  
closet, pulling all his clothes out and even cutting  
up some of his favorte outfits. His CD and DVD's were  
thrown about the room and some of his wrestling gear  
was even thrown out the window. the room was a mess  
and although it took only a short time to do it, she  
knew it would be a long time to fix, if that was  
possible. It was a pity his most tresured possession  
was not here, god only knows what she would have done  
to it. Probably take it and sell it for money or  
perhaps melt it down.

She pushed her hair back, ignoring the semi dry blood  
now caking her hands, hair and face as she picked up a  
tube of lipstick she left on the dresser and wrote a  
message across the only non-broken mirror.

"You never gave a shit," She muttered to herself. "I  
was stupid thinking you would. You wouldn't even cared  
if I disappeared off the face of this fucking earth.  
Well neither do I asshole, so good riddance to you."

Stepping back a genuine smile filled her features and  
she walked out of the room forever. Her part was done,  
she was never coming back.

* * *

Kurt Angle, Olympic Gold Medalist, Number One  
Contender for the WWE Championship belt, stepped up to  
the door and grasped the door knob, knowing it would  
be unlocked. She was home, she was always home.

He quickly pulled his hand away as it he touched  
something sticky. Holding up his hand, he saw it was  
covered in almost dry blood, and his heart dropped in  
his chest as he pushed the door open.

"Molly? What's going on?"

There was silence as he rushed up the stairs, noting  
the blood on the bannister before stopping at the  
bathroom where there was actually small puddles of  
blood and eveything was thrown on the floor. What he  
failed to notice was it was all his stuff, he just saw  
the blood and the broken mirror and he immediatly  
thought the worse.

"Molly." He yelled running to their room. "Nora? Where  
are you honey?"

There was still silence and when he pushed the door  
open he saw it was trashed too.He stepped further into  
the room doing a slow circle to survey the damge. His  
eyes came to rest on the only non-broken mirror.

"What have you done?" He whispered, stepping closer.

GO WITH YOUR WHORES, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT. YOU DON'T CARE IF I DIE OR NOT AND NEITHER DO I. ALL YOU HAD TO  
DO WAS UNDERSTAND.


	4. Forever Yours

Title: Forever yours 1/1 (Bored at work  
series)

Author: Harmoni

category:WWE

rating: T for teen

Summary: At the end of the day, who will be there? Will somebody catch you? Or will you suffer alone? Sequel to A Little Understanding.

Characters: Molly(Nora), Kurt Angle. Appearances by Stephanie McMahon and Triple H (Paul)

Disclaimer: I do not own anything at all.. If I did, I  
probably wouldn't have started this series.

Notes: So this is the sequel to the last dark one I put out there and if you're looking for a happy ending, STOP READING! I'm serious.. Anyone who knew what happened to me this past week will definitely know where it came from. If you're unsure just ask and I will explain. But it's even darker…. You've been warned

I'm at work with no spelling or grammar tool, I  
tried my best that's all I can say...

* * *

It's all over now.

I'm done.

I'm finished.

I tried, I really did.

But you wouldn't know.

You didn't look for me, you forgot about me.

So I'm done.

I'm finished.

Are you happy?

I'm not. That's why I'm here.

It's cold up here. But it doesn't bother me much. Not much does now.

I think I've gone numb. You made me numb. And I hate it, this not being able to feel.

I'm so lost now. I wanted to move on. I wanted to be free but I was haunted. Haunted by you. Why couldn't you just leave me alone?

I set you free and I wanted to set myself free but it didn't happen.

Instead I was pulled in further. I wasn't even around you and you were engrained deeper into my soul. Why couldn't I get you out of my head?

The day I trashed the house and left I was determined to forget about you... I was determined to let you be happy with your new whores. You didn't understand me, you didn't want me around. You never came home to be with me so I decided enough was enough.

You're probably wondering where I went to, huh? Well despite me thinking I could no longer wrestle I did a few appearances and a few shows and you know what? I was right, I could no longer wrestle. No one knew me, I couldn't use my own name. No one was there to see me and I lost every match they made me lose every god damn match, it was like being in the WWE again but at least this time I lost to females that could actually wrestle but I was a jobber, it was disgraceful.

I can't have a normal job. I 'm a wrestler. What would you do if you lost your job? Would you be able to work a 9-5 job? I didn't think so. Wrestling is, was my life. You were my life and now both are gone but I'm still not coming back.

No, it's much better off this way. What would happen if I came back? You would yell at me for leaving you, would want to know where I was. But you wouldn't care. I know you wouldn't. You wouldn't understand that I needed to get away, you wouldn't really care that I was gone, more then anything you would be pissed off that I came back.

Do you bring your whores home now? Do you use the bed we used to sleep in? Doesn't it bother you at all? Don't you feel guilty to have those sluts in the bed where you held me and told me you loved me over and over while you made love to me? Don't you feel guilt at all you bastard.

I have to calm down, I'm talking out loud and people will start to notice me. I can't have that because then they'll try and talk to me and I don't want that. The time for talking is over. It's too late for talking and what can they possibly say to help me? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. There's only one person who can talk me out of this. One person who can stop me and you're not coming. You won't be my knight in shining armor.

It's really cold up here. I think I've already said that. I should've brought a jacket. I was going to bring a jacket but then I realized I don't really need one. I don't feel it all that much and soon it won't matter.

I've tried to call you before. Those hang ups were from me. When you answered the phone you sounded so happy, so normal, like you didn't have a care in the world. How could I bring you down again. The moment you heard my voice any happiness would be gone. And as much as I hate you I couldn't do that to you . Because as much as I hate you, I still love you.

Why? Why do I still love you? Why can't the memory of you be gone? Why can't you get out of my god damn head? Why can't you just leave me the fuck alone?

I see your face everywhere. Your crystal blue eyes, they're staring out at me whenever I walk by someone. Your loving smile that used to be so full of love for me not too long ago, I see it every time I turn a corner. You, I see you. You're everywhere to me, I can't escape you. I just want to be free of you. Stop Haunting me. Stop being wherever I go, I just can't take it.

I guess that's what lead me up here. I guess that's why I'm standing up here.

The water looks cold. Colder then up here, I wonder if I'll feel that. I wonder if I'll feel anything at all. I forgot what it's like to feel. That's how long it's been. Another lifetime. Another happy life. One that I don't belong too anymore. One that your still apart of. Without me. It's not fair. Why them? What's wrong with me? I loved you. I love you. They will never love you like I do and no one will ever love me the way you once did.

Without you there's nothing. Why have I even bothered this long? I thought wrestling could make me feel again but it doesn't. I was just going through the motions and I'm giving up.

Did you hear that?

I'm giving up.

Are you happy?

I'm done.

I'm finished.

Are you Happy now?

Cause I'm not.

* * *

Kurt sighed as he hung up the phone.

The last lead he had to finding her was gone.

She was really gone.

Why?

Even after all these months he didn't understand.

Why would she think he was cheating on her? He didn't. Not once, not ever. He loved her. He wanted to marry her. He wanted to ask her that very same night but she left him.

Why?

He didn't understand.

The few leads he had. The rumors of her doing independent shows, he followed them but they always turned out dead. It was someone that looked like His Nora but it was a different name at each show. Was she trying to find a new ring name? She was devastated when she was told she couldn't be Molly anymore. She was devastated that a company that she had been loyal too could just forget her so easily. She was devastated that during the Draft he spent so much time away from home. But he didn't cheat on her.

That day she left when she had begged him to come home and he told her no he was late with work, he was lying but that was because he stopped to pick up her ring. Her engagement ring. He wanted to ask her, he wanted to be with her forever. But she left.

Why?

A knock came to his locker room door and in stepped Stephanie McMahon followed by two police officers. All three looked grim.

"What's going on?" He asked.

Stephanie sighed and rubbed her eyes. "Kurt, I think you need to sit down for this."

* * *

There were various superstars and backstage crew walking around when a scream of agony came from Kurt Angle's locker room. Everyone stopped and waited, unsure if they should go inside or wait.

Moments later, Stephanie stepped out of the room, blinking back tears as she tried to regain her business composure.

"Everyone back to what you were doing." She hoarsely cried.

Paul, better known as Triple H, stepped forward.

"Steph, what's going on?"

She bit her lip and shook her head but he wouldn't let it go.

"Fine." she cried. "Molly's been- " She sighed and tried to start again.

"They found Nora."

"Well that's great."

"No Paul, it isn't."

"Molly she-"

The door behind them opened and Kurt appeared, tears running down his face.

"She jumped off a bridge. She killed herself because of me."

Stephanie shook her head. "No Kurt, it's not because of you."

"It was my fault but I don't take full blame. Tell your father I hope he's happy."

"Kurt you can't blame yourself and you can't blame my father."

He ducked his head, the grief overwhelming him as he placed his hands on his hips. Finally he looked up, his lip trembling.

"It wasn't her fault. I just had to be honest with her from the beginning I should of told her I wanted to marry her. And now I'll never... This company was her life so you just as well ended it yourself. We might as well have been standing up there with her and pushed her off."

He started walking away.

"Kurt." Stephanie called, tears running down her face too, "Where are you going?"

He stopped but didn't turn to face them. "Away from here. I'm not working for the company that killed my girlfriend. I quit."

Kurt Angle walked out of the arena but not before pulling something out of his pocket and throwing it against the wall.

As the door shut behind him with a loud, final thud, the item he threw hit the ground and opened.

A simple gold ring with a diamond in the middle, bounced out and rolled around 3 times before coming to a stop.

On the inside was the inscription:

'To Nora, forever yours, love Kurt'

But forever was gone.

They no longer had forever.


	5. Plans

Title: Plans (bored at work series)

Author: Harmoni

Rating: t for teen…. Just to be safe I guess

Summary: Plans have an odd way of going off track and not turning out the way you had planned it And yes there is fluffiness in here… lol

Pairing: I'll never tell……

Disclaimer: Do you recognize it? Then it ain't mine…

Notes: I wrote this at home as i am on stress leave and i wrote it beore Valentine's day and put it out the same day for a group contest...so i'm putting it here and putting it in my Bored At Work Series.. lemme know what you think, okay? Oh, and Let's pretend Raw falls on Valentine's day…..I think that's all I gotta say

* * *

'_Please be okay, please be okay.' _She repeated the words over and over to herself as she ran down the hallways, ignoring the calls around her. She didn't care if they were telling her to stop or slow down or anything else they may have been saying. Her sole purpose was to get to the trainers room and make sure he was okay. He had to be okay, he just had to be.

Turning a corner, she skidded to a stop right in front of Vince's Devils, who were conveniently blocking her only route to him.

"Going somewhere?" Victoria asked with a sneer.

She clenched her teeth together and balled her fists up doing her best to keep her temper in check. The odds were stacked against her. If she didn't keep her cool she'd really be joining him in the trainer's room and not as a guest.

"Just let me go." She said through clenched teeth, going to move around them but Candace stepped with her, pointing her magic wand at her chest.

"we just want to talk." Candace said with a small pout. "Don't you want to talk to us?"

"I think you already know the answer." She snapped.

"You hurt my feelings." Candace's pout grew.

"Look at me cry." She sneered. "now move, I got somewhere to be."

"Going to check on your man?" Victoria asked, sharing a glance with Candace before they burst into giggles.

"What's so funny?" She asked, crossing her arms and lifting her chin up defiantly.

"Oh I think you should know your man's already being taken care of." Candace smirked.

She looked between the two, realizing for the first time that Torrie was not present.

"Get out of my way before I make you both sorry you ever got in my way." She snarled.

Victoria stepped up, trying to intimidate her with her size but she would have none of that, glaring right back until Candace put her magic wand between them.

"Let her go Vicki, she doesn't believe us so only one way for her to learn."

Victoria stepped back and she pushed her way between them, ignoring their whispering and giggling as she took off running once again, not stopping this time until she reached the trainers room. She pushed the door open, not knocking or waiting but the moment she entered she regretted doing so.

Now logically, she should've walked out of the room, but something stopped her, something that made her go red with anger.

"You whore." She spat.

Torrie Wilson looked up at her from on top of her man, who didn't have the decency to look at her.

"Sorry we weren't expecting you." Torrie said with a big innocent smile.

"Next week." She hissed, backing out of the room. "You're mine next week."

She ran from the room, ignoring the cackling of all three devils and waiting until she was out of the arena and in her car before she burst into tears….

* * *

He tried calling her all week but he hadn't yet been able to get a hold of her. In fact he hadn't seen her since she had given him a good luck kiss before he went out there. Unfortunately it ended up bad when he was blindsided by Masters, Carlito, and Edge. The last thing he remembered was being helped to the back by some refs. Even now, he could still feel the cut on his forehead courtesy of them.

But he hadn't seen her since and she didn't return any of his calls and it worried him. Why didn't she come to see if he was okay after the fight? Why didn't she call to see if he was okay. It wasn't like her. She was the most sensitive, most caring, most wonderful, most beautiful… and he even sounded mushy in his head. He gave his head a small shake to clear it as he made his way through the arena to the Divas locker room. He knocked and stepped back to wait. Ashley answered.

"What are you doing here?" She asked in an icy tone.

He stepped back a bit, caught unaware by her attitude. The two had always been cool with each other. She had an easy going attitude like him and they got a long great but now she was full of hostility that was directed at him.

"Did I miss something?" He asked.

Ashley rolled her eyes, leaning against the door. "again I ask, what are you doing here?"

"Is she here? I need to talk to her."

"The nerve of you." She muttered before fixing him with an icy glare. "No she's not here so you can leave."

Ashley went back inside the room and slammed the door but not before he caught a glimpse of her inside dressed as if she was going for a match. She never wrestled, well maybe once, so he began to wonder what exactly was going on.

He continued on to his locker room more confused then ever. This whole week had been confusion and he didn't understand what was going on in the slightest.

"Your girls up tonight."

He looked up to see Shawn Michaels there.

"Up where?" he asked

"She's wrestling. She went to Vince and demanded a match against Torrie Wilson. Nobody knows why but she looks pretty mad."

He looked at the older man in confusion. "She hasn't talked to me all week; I don't know what's going on."

Shawn shrugged before clapping him on the shoulder and continuing on his way.

"What the hell is going on?" He muttered to himself, dropping off his stuff in the locker room. He didn't even know if he should continue on with his plan but as long as she talked to him today, he would. He had to because he loved her with all his heart and he wasn't letting her get away so easily.

Leaving his locker room, he went to the Gorilla as Raw kicked off.

"Hey baby, how's it going?"

He turned at the unfamiliar voice.

"Torrie, whaddya want?"

She gave him a small pout, flanked on either side by Candace and Victoria, holding her little dog in her hands. "Gee you don't sound happy to see me. You were happy last week."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Torrie gave her dog to Candace and stepped forward, running her hand up his chest. He stepped back in disgust just as music blared over the arena sound system. He knew that music and he spun around to see Maria step out onto the ramp.

"What the hell did you do?" He swore at Torrie.

The blonde shrugged and grabbed Chloe back pushing past him and heading out the ramp.

"I need to find out what the hell is going on." He muttered to himself, knowing that his best chance was to find Ashley.

* * *

She would make her pay. She would wipe that smug smile off her face and make her regret ever hurting her. Maria was ready to kick some ass and when she was done with Torrie Wilson, she was going to kick Victoria's then Candace's ass.

"Look at this." Torrie said, grabbing a mic. "The announcer thinks she is a wrestler. You're in way over your head little girl."

Torrie stepped right up to her and Maria glared before batting the mic away.

"I kicked your ass once and I can do it again." She snapped, grabbing Torrie by the hair and swinging her around so she landed face first on the ring. Gone was the sweet ditzy announcer that everyone knew and loved and in her place was a woman scorned and ready to take down anyone who stood in her way.

Not missing a beat, she turned and punched Victoria in the face, then turned and hit Candace, giving her an extra kick to knock her out of the ring. She turned back to Victoria who was running at her and leaned at the waist, catching her in the stomach and lifting her over her shoulder, sending her flying over the ropes and onto Candace.

Maria turned back to Torrie, a smirk on her face, "How you liking me now?"

Torrie's eyes narrowed as she charged at Maria who did the same maneuver on her as Victoria, knocking her out of the ring as well.

_Time to play the game…_

Music blared through the arena and Maria's head whipped to the entrance, her eyes narrowing in anger. What the hell was he doing here?

Pain exploded in the back of her head and she fell forward sprawling across the ring.

"nice try, Bitch." Torrie spat at her, lifting her up and throwing her by the hair.

Maria hit the ring hard but pushed herself up to her knees, only to be met by a kick to the ribs courtesy of Victoria. She doubled over but was roughly pulled back by her arms as Candace delivered a slap to her face, not once, not twice but three times. Maria felt blood fill her mouth as Torrie kicked her in the abdomen, causing her to gasp for air. This wasn't turning out the way she planned it.

Victoria grabbed her hair and yanked her head back so she was looking right into Hunter's eyes.

"Hey baby."

"Fuck you." She spat.

"Not happy to see me?"

"Why would I be happy to see you, you slime ball."

Hunter grabbed her face and held it roughly as he leered down at her.

"You need to learn some manners."

"What is this?" She snapped. "What have I ever done to you?"

"You personally, nothing but I have a message for you to pass on."

"And these Whores? What are they for?"

Hunter laughed as he released her and picked her up.

"I used them, to get you out here."

The Devils giggled and Maria tried to swipe at them but Hunter pulled her back.

"Now, now dear, play nice."

"Go to Hell." She spat. "Leave me alone, take your stupid message and shove it."

Hunter laughed. "She's got some fight left in her… ladies?"

Victoria kicked her in the stomach, setting her up for the widow's peak.

Maria closed her eyes, this wasn't how she planned it at all….

* * *

"Come on girl, quit being like that."

Ashley rolled her eyes and glared at him. "I consoled her all week after what you did, she's so distraught right now."

"After what I did? See now, there's where I'm confused. What exactly did I do?"

"Why are you playing dumb? She saw you and Torrie last week?"

"Me and Torrie? When would I ever go near Torrie?"

Ashley rolled her eyed again. "She walked in on you in the trainer's room. Torrie on top of you, does that ring a bell?"

He shook his head, "No, I passed out in the trainer's room soon after I got there."

Ashley's mouth formed an O of surprise. Was it possible the stupid Devil Skanks were up to their tricks again.

"You have to go tell her." Ashley told him. "She went to take on Torrie over that and if the other two get involved they can really hurt her especially if it's all part of some plan.

The door to the Divas locker room was thrown open and Trish came running in, followed by her # 1 fan Mickie James.

"Guys, we have to go help her." Trish cried. "triple H just went out there and now they are all taking turns beating her down."

He didn't even wait for Trish to finish, he was already out the door, running through the halls to the ring.

'_Please be okay, please be okay.' _He kept repeating to himself over and over. He cleared the curtain in record time and ran down the ramp just as he saw Triple H setting Maria, his Maria, up for the Pedigree.

He slid into the ring and caught Maria as Triple H pushed her across the ring.

"Let this be a warning to you. Wrestlemania, you're mine" Hunter yelled as he exited the ring.

Trish, Ashley and Mickie slid into the ring and immediately began attacking the Divas who were not so lucky in their getaways. He didn't care though, his attention was focused only on Maria whose eyes were closed and whose face and body looked bruised and battered. He smoothed back her hair.

"Maria baby, open your eyes."

She let out a small moan and her eyes fluttered open. She stared up at him a small smile on her face before it turned into a scowl.

"You asshole." She seethed.

"no baby, I was passed out."

She looked at him, confusion in her eyes, "then how did you…?"

"I told him." Ashley knelt beside her. "How you doing?"

Maria shook his head, trying to sit up. "Why did you…?"

"He was passed out Maria, he didn't know. They set you up."

Maria looked back at him, realization entering her eyes. "So this whole week, I've been upset and ignoring you for no reason?"

He nodded, gathering her in his arms. "I don't care baby girl as long as you're okay now. I'm so sorry he hurt you."

She smiled up at him, her beautiful dazzling smile now back in place as she threw her arms around him.

"I love you John Cena."

"and I love you too Maria." He gently placed her on her feet and motioned for Ashley to help her if she needed her.

"I was gonna save this for the special night I had planned but I can't wait."

John got on his knees in front of Maria, a big smile on his face.

"Maria, I love you with all my heart and I would never intentionally do anything to hurt you. I promise to protect you and keep you safe and never let big nose or anyone else ever hurt you again. Maria will you marry me?"

Her eyes widened in disbelief as her smile grew and she nodded her head so frantically he worried it would shake right off.

Laughing he stood up and pulled her into his arms, swinging her around.

"I love you baby girl."

She laughed. "I love you too John."

"Do you know what today is?"

Her eyes widened and he chuckled knowing she had forgotten what today was but he didn't care, he was just happy that they were fine and that she had said yes.

"Come on. Let's go back to the hotel and have some fun." He whispered suggestively.

"What kind of fun?" She asked the innocent look back in her eyes.

He pulled her in for a long passionate kiss, ignoring the cheers of the crowd and the three Divas in the ring, he was only focused on his Diva.

John pulled away, breathless as he grinned down at her.

"Happy Valentine's day, Maria."

* * *


	6. Forget It

Title: Forget it 1/1 (Bored at work  
series)

Author: Harmoni

category:WWE

rating:T for teen

summary: God, can someone really be that dense... Apparently so…Jeff was right she should just forget it…

Characters: Ashley, Matt, Lita, Trish, Mickie, other Divas, mentions of Jeff Hardy

discalimer: I do not own anything at all.. if i did, i  
probably wouldn't have started this series.

notes: Ok another exciting entry…lol.. this one is written in first person through AShleya s you will see. I've never done a first person one so this should be interesting.. this is part of a two parter that will be out later as it will lead into another pairing that one of the girls has requested… so if you have a certain pairing you wanna see, let me know… I wanna see how many stories I can get…lol…

* * *

Please Review

I wanna thank you for the reviews nickystruluv and J3r1ch0h0lic4eva.. yes I do plan on getting bored more often.. lol….

* * *

What more do you want from me? What more could I possibly give you? What more could you possibly want?

I watch you, watching her and you think I don't notice. But I do because I'm always watching you. Always, I never stop. That's how much you have me hooked and I wonder if that makes me sad or pathetic or just someone in love.

Yeah, you heard that right, I love you Matthew Moore Hardy, is it too much to ask for you to love me back or will Lita always be there, in between us, blocking us from ever really being together. Cause I need to tell you right now, I don't know if I can do that. I've been waiting for awhile now, ever since that first time you asked me out.

Back then, I knew she would still be there especially with us all on the same roster. I knew you would still think of her but I still said yes because I hoped that one day you would finally let her go and focus on the one standing right in front of you. Me. I went out with you that first time because I really liked you. You were funny, you made me laugh and you were friendly when I first joined the roster. You made me feel welcome, something not a lot of the others did, so yes I was attracted to you for that, but it grew as I got to know you, and even more so as we continued spending time together. And now I'm here completely, hopelessly in love with you. But I am starting to wonder how foolish it is. How can I love a man who is still completely, hopelessly in love with his ex girlfriend? Simple really I can't choose who and who not to love. But how can you not see how I feel about you? How can you be that blind? Do I have to go to the middle of the ring and scream it out? I've been tempted.

When you were switched to Smackdown, I though it would get easier. I knew how hard it would be that we weren't together as often but I hoped that if you weren't around her as much, perhaps you would open your eyes up a little bit more. Maybe see me.

It hasn't happened that way yet and you seem to wonder why things have been a little tense between us. Or maybe not. Maybe you notice nothing at all, because you're too busy thinking about Lita.

I talked to Jeff yesterday. Actually I talk to him a lot, I'm surprised you haven't noticed. He and he alone knows how I really feel about you. Last time you took me home, he pulled me aside because he noticed it too. He noticed how hard I've fallen for you and he's noticed how blind you seem to be to it. Whenever I feel hopeless I call him, which sadly enough is too often now.

But today, he told me something, he told me to just give up. You were never gonna love me the same way so why bother wasting my time with you. And you know what? He's right. Why should I waste anymore time on you. If all you are gonna do is moon over Lita, then I'm done mooning over you. It's over. I'm not wasting anymore time on this. You're coming to the taping tonight and I plan on telling you as soon as possible. It's done it's over and I don't care how much it hurts.

* * *

Of course, just as I turned the corner and catch my first glimpse of Matt, he's talking to her. Big surprise there, huh? I knew he was going to be here today, to visit me. And I knew others knew it too. So of course Lita would find him first chance she got. But for once I'm not mad, I'm more upset then anything but who knows, maybe they can finally work things out.

"Matt?" I call as I move closer. He turn's away from Lita who sent me murderous look as he did so. I don't blame her, I've been giving her the exact same looks every time I see the two of them talk. But can you really blame me?

"Hey." Matt says, leaning over and giving me a quick peck on the cheek. That was the type of kiss you reserve for your mom or your sister. I'm supposed to be his girlfriend.

"We need to talk." I say with a frown glancing over at Lita. She didn't seem to get the hint and continued standing there. Look, I have nothing against her even if she is his ex and possible future girlfriend, but come on woman can't you take a hint?

"okay well Lita, if you can give me a minute…"

But she reached out and placed her hand on his arm to stop him. "actually Matt, I wasn't done talking yet and it's really important."

Matt looked between the two of us caught between the past and present, unsure of which way to go. If he comes with me he may think all will be well that he can save our relationship. If he goes with her, he just may have a chance at the past and what was, hoping that it can be once more. What do you do?

I watched him closely as he looked between the two of us, deciding I will make it easier for him.

"Matt?" I softly call.

He looks at me like a deer caught in headlights and I had to resist the urge to roll my eyes. Jeff was right, why bother wasting my time?

"Forget it." I snapped hoping the message was clear.

Forget talking to me now, forget talking to me later, just forget everything Matthew Moore Hardy because we are through.

I wanted to yell that so bad but of course, Lita was there, smirking at me and I was not gonna give her the satisfaction of dumping him in front of her where she can so easily pounce on him.

I know I said I had nothing against her but that damn smirk is making it really difficult right now.

I looked back at Matt and he opened his mouth to speak but I held up a hand to stop him.

"I said forget it Matt."

I walked away from him then, a part of me hoping, praying he would come after me but as I walked further and further away, I realized that wouldn't be the case and I tried my hardest not to break down. I didn't want anyone to know the pain Matt caused me.

* * *

God I can't believe it, all that bullshit I just went through and now I have to go wrestle. Not that I hate wrestling. In fact, I love it. When I won the Diva Search contest I was ecstatic, but like Christy before me, I wasn't content on being just a pretty face, I wanted to wrestle and boy did I get thrown in there. But it wasn't bad. Everyone here has been great. When Trish came back and they had her turn face, helping me out, it was great. She's one of the best and she has been a great teacher. Everyone has, even Lita, until the whole Matt thing came up. We're still very polite and civil to one another and I've said I have nothing against her. I just don't think she likes me very much. But she still tries to hide it.

"Where's your head?"

I turned around as Mickie James came up behind me. Despite our on screen rivalry, she's been great. She came up from OVW with lots of experience and she's been helpful and patient during our matches and my screw ups. They happen, I'm not completely trained and some say I shouldn't even be wrestling. Sometimes I agree but I'm learning as best I can, as fast as I can, as safe as I can and if people want to hate fine. I don't care. The ones that are hating are the exact same ones that voted me in here so they don't really have a good complaint.

"Ashley."

"What?" I asked, realizing I completely zoned out again.

"Where is your head?" Mickie asked again. "You can't go out there like that. We need you here, in the now."

I brushed her off pasting on a smile. "I'm fine. I'm just going through the match in my head."

She gave me a skeptical look and opened her mouth to say more as Trish came up behind us.

"You two conspiring a way to win?" She jokingly asked.

We laughed as Candace was already scheduled to win the Diva Battle Royale. With her playboy cover and Go daddy commercial, it was a good choice and would hopefully help ratings. Made me wonder if I should do another Playboy spread. I did one awhile back but that was under another name and I know some people know about it but I don't know if the fans do yet.

"So you're okay with everything right?" Mickie asked one last time as the others began to enter the arena.

I nodded knowing she was just making sure I was comfortable with everything. I was the least experienced so even though they did try to get me involved quite often, everyone made sure I was at least comfortable with the spots I had to do. And I was, I was always willing to try new things.

"My turn." I muttered as my music began to play. I firmly put Matt and Lita out of my mind as I played to the crowd and got into the ring beside Maria as Mickie's music came on and she jumped her way to the ring, sliding in beside us and eyeing me warily but moving closer to me as she glared at Torrie, Candace and Victoria.

Moments later the bell rang and any leftover thoughts were soon gone as we all ran at one another.

* * *

"You ready, girlie?" Mickie asked right before she went into the final spot that would set both of us up for Candace to push us over the top, leaving her the sole survivor and winner of the match to take on Trish next week for the WWE Women's Champion..

I didn't say anything as Mickie wrapped her legs around my head and tried to pull me over the top I struggled back and moments later, I felt Candace push us both over and to the ground. I hit the ground, legs first and immediately heard a crack and a snap in my leg as I crumpled to the ground, grabbing it in pain. Mickie lay beside me and heard me whimpering.

"Ash? What's wrong?" She whispered.

"My leg, something happened to it."

She signaled to the ref who jumped down beside me and began asking me all these questions that I found impossible to answer. There was something wrong with my leg I was in pain, I didn't want to answer any of his stupid questions. I wanted the pain to go away.

The ref touched my leg and I howled in pain. It hurt a lot. I saw Mickie stand and throw me a sympathetic look. Because of storylines and such, she couldn't check on me so had to go to the back as more medics rushed from the back to check on me.

"Ashley we need you to lay back."

"Ashley can you tell us where the pain is?"

"Ashley what did you hear when you landed?"

I growled and ignored them as music came on and Edge and Lita made their way down to the ramp. Yes everyone, please continue on with your regular scheduled program. Ignore the girl with the fucked up leg on the side of the ring.

I took a deep breath to calm down. It wasn't fair, they didn't know what was going on, plus we were live and the show must go on. At least Matt would be there when I got to the back. He'd come with me and hold my hand while I waited in the hospital. Lita was out here, so he was out of her clutches. Maybe at the hospital, we could talk and work it all out , screw what Jeff said. This relationship may be worth saving.

"Ashley we're putting you on to the stretcher now and we're taking you to the hospital." The paramedic yelled at me, bringing me back to the present and the pain in my leg.

I watched as they worked on me, ignoring the stares of the fans surrounding me, most wishing me good luck, while one asshole jeered at me and told me this is why someone who isn't trained should get in the ring.

AS much as I wanted to reply by lifting my middle finger to him, I smiled and thanked him for his support.

"Ready?" One of the medics asked.

They didn't wait for my nod as they lifted me on to the board to put me on the stretcher. I gritted my teeth swiping the stray tears that came form the pain.

This really wasn't good. Here I was just getting started as a WWE diva. What happened to me? How long would I be out for? I couldn't afford to lose any time. They could up and fire me at any time and this was a chance of a lifetime.

They waited until the segment with Edge and Lita was over and they had gone to commercial before rolling me into the back where I was met by Trish and Mickie who held back due to the cameras still following me.

"You okay sweetie?" She asked smoothing my hair back.

I looked up at her fearfully. "no Trish there's something really wrong with my leg it doesn't feel right."

She saw the tears threatening to pour over and knowing how much I hated people seeing me cry told the cameras to get lost. When they did Mickie appeared next to her.

"Ash, I'm so sorry."

I was able to give her a small smile. "It's not your fault, Mick, I landed wrong but you didn't do anything."

She nodded not looking thoroughly convinced.

"Matt?" I whispered gritting my teeth as my leg was jostled.

Trish went to answer but was interrupted by a laugh. One that I recognized and it gave me a bad feeling as another deeper laugh joined it. I pushed Mickie aside and saw Lita and Matt, talking together again having the times of their life, ignoring the poor hurt girlfriend. My blood began to boil as I glared at them but surprisingly, Trish beat me to the punch. You see Lita and Trish are really great friends despite _their_ on screen rivalry. So when Trish turned her anger on them, I was happy she was sticking up for me. And happy I got to hear it as she halted the stretcher.

"hello Matthew? Hurt girlfriend here."

A look of annoyance flashed across Lita's face and Matt's smile dropped as he looked at me.

"What happened?"

"were you even watching her match?" Trish asked.

He at least had the decency to look guilty and by the smug look on Lita's face I knew exactly what Matt had been doing. He had been chit chatting with her the whole time.

"Don't you even care about your girlfriend?" Mickie asked.

"She broke up with me." Matt muttered.

My eyes widened in disbelief. I told him to forget it when I wanted to talk to him. Sure, in my head I was saying Forget us and everything but I know I did not say that out loud.

"I never broke up with you, you jackass." I spat out.

"You said forget it." He reminded me.

"I said about forgetting to talk to me."

I stared at him in disbelief, the answer finally dawning on me.

"I see, so you just took that as a way out because Lita told you she was ready to get back together. You're an asshole, Matthew Hardy."

The paramedics resumed wheeling me away, Trish holding on to my hand to comfort me while Mickie followed behind us. I don't know why I did it, but I did. I looked back, curious to see how Matt was taking it.

And wouldn't you know, the idiot had already forgotten about me as he and Lita walked away laughing, his arm around her waist.

* * *


	7. Mean Streak

Gina's pairing…..

Title: Bored at Work Series: mean streak 1/1

Author: Harmoni

category:WWE

rating:T for teen

summary:

Characters: Ashley/John, Trish, Mickie, Lita, Vince, Raw Divas,

disclaimer: Does it look familiar? Oh, it does? Well then, it ain't mine

notes: This is for Gina…. Who chose this pairing…Ok so the reason I'm doing this one first is because when this pairing was requested, I was already working on the previous story and it all fit in so perfectly, I just wanted to put this one after instead of waiting a couple more stories, yes I do have the other pairings waiting and yes there are storylines for most of them already in my head and now that I'm back at work and in a writing frenzy, for the moment, I hope to have them all up soon. So if there are any other pairings you want to see let me know and I will get to them….

Ashley hobbled into the arena on her crutches, cursing the heavy door as it threatened to knock her over.

"Come on." She muttered, struggling up against it as she tried to maneuver the crutches in.

"A little help?"

She glanced behind her and gave a weak smile as John Cena grabbed the door and held it open for her, allowing her easier access inside.

"Thanks." She mumbled as he came in behind and kept stride with her, occasionally glancing over at her as she made her way down the hall.

"What?" She finally asked, unable to keep the annoyance out of her voice.

"Just wondering how you're doing is all." He quietly said, looking straight ahead.

Ashley looked down unsure of what to say. How was she supposed to respond to that? It seemed that lately her whole life was a mess. It all started with that Stupid Raw of just a few weeks ago. First she had Matt to deal with, then she had broken her leg, a spiral fracture, and had to have surgery and get a metal plate screwed into her leg. She now had a freaking metal plate in her leg. On top of that, she was beyond scared about just where she stood with her job. Yes, she won the Diva search and that entitled her to a 1 year contract, but what use was she with a cast. They could pay out her contract and let her go and she would be left beyond devastated. This was her dream job. She couldn't go back to what she did before. Maybe if she offered to do a Playboy spread, they'd keep her… No. NO way, no how, she wasn't going to bribe her way into keeping her job . She would just have to pray for the best.

"Ashley?"

She looked back up at John and he stopped, seeing her watery eyes. Looking around, he saw a small office off to the side and pulled her in, closing the door behind her.

"You wanna talk about it?" He gently asked, looking at her closely

John was worried about her. In fact he had been worried about her since she had started going out with Matt Hardy. Back then, they didn't know each other that well but John enjoyed talking with all the Divas and he got to know Ashley better and he liked her a lot. But he noticed the lovesick way she would sometimes stare at Matt. The exact same way that Matt was staring at Lita and right away he knew this wouldn't end pretty. But he started talking to her and they became pretty good friends. Until one day John realized he couldn't get her out of his head. Without realizing it, he had begun falling in love with Ashley Massaro. Nobody knew though. Correction, nobody knew until the night Ashley got hurt He vowed to keep it quiet and take that secret to the grave if need be and made Trish who now knew, vow the same.

But he still talked with Ashley and hung out with her and they grew closer. When she had her accident, He was pissed off that he wasn't there for her. He was in a meeting with Vince McMahon so didn't hear about it until after Ashley was taken to the hospital. After his meeting he had gone to the Divas locker room to find all the Raw Divas but Lita getting their gear to leave as soon as they were able to. Trish was the one to tell him and she also told him what had happened with Matt after. He had all 6 Divas jumping on him and holding him back so he didn't go and beat the crap out of Hardy. He was so pissed off he was sure he could get them all off and still go after Matt, but it was Trish who talked him down. And instead he had to make his Raw appearance before he could even leave the arena. Trish had waited for him and together they got in her rental towards the hospital. She offered to drive, saying he looked a little distraught. As soon as they were on their way, Trish looked over at him and with a knowing smile, stated that she knew what was going on.

"What are you talking about?" He had asked.

"You love her." Trish smirked.

"Love who?" He asked still playing dumb.

"Ashley." An exasperated Trish replied. "Don't play dumb with me John Cena. When I look at you it's so obvious."

John sighed. "You better take this to your grave Blondie."

"What If she feels the same way? Are you just gonna keep quiet about it?"

"She doesn't. She loves Matt."

"Look what Matt did to her." Trish pointed out.

"So?" John argued. "She's not gonna stop loving him just like that. If it were that easy, I woulda stopped loving her months ago."

"tell her.

"No." A stubborn John replied. "And if you do, I'll-"

"You'll what?" Trish challenged him.

He clamped his mouth shut and glared out the window, knowing he didn't have a feasible threat against the Women's Champion. But Trish took pity on him, letting out a sigh.

"Fine John, my lips are sealed. I'll keep quiet for now one day, you have to tell her."

John stayed silent staring out the window. How could he tell her, especially after what that asshole just did.

"John? You're phasing out on me now."

The WWE Champion shook his head and looked at Ashley. "Sorry I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"we're not here to talk about me, we're here to talk about you. And the fact that you haven't returned any of my phone calls."

Ashley grimaced. "Sorry haven't really been in the mood to talk."

"Baby girl, you need to talk."

She lifted an eyebrow. "I do?"

"Yes you do."

"And what makes you think I'm gonna talk to you about it?" She asked in a nasty voice.

He looked taken aback by her tone and harsh words. "look, we're friends, I got your back no matter what and I'm here if you ever need to talk."

Her eyes iced over and her jaw tensed. "I don't need to talk and I don't need any friends so do me a favor Cena and just stay out of my life."

She turned on her crutches and opened the door, leaving behind a stunned WWE Champion.

What had that been about?

"Ashley, what are you doing here?"

The Diva Search Winner turned to see Mickie coming over to her. She rolled her eyes as she answered.

"What do you think? I work here, I'm still part of the roster."

"You just had surgery 2 weeks ago, girl."

"So?" She replied in the same cold voice that she used with John. "I'm not crippled, I can still be here."

"Did the doctor say that it was okay?"

"Fuck the doctor." She exploded. "If I want to be here I will and he can't say shit to keep me home."

Again she stalked off the best she could on her crutches, leaving behind a stunned Mickie.

Ashley was on a mission now. She had decided this when John had phased out. She would not worry, she would not be pushed over. She was going to find Vince McMahon and tell him there was no way he was getting rid of her. There was no way they were terminating her contract. She was staying. He would have to call security in order to remove her. She was keeping her job. She couldn't lose this job.

"Aww Ashley, look at you, you poor girl."

She bristled knowing who that voice belonged to but didn't turn around.

"What the hell do you want?"

"Well that's not the cheerful Ashley I know. What would your fans think?"

"They'd be cheering me on and probably begging me to kick your ass." She replied pasting a fake sugary sweet smile on her face as Lita came to stand in front of her.

"As if you could. Look at you. Even when you weren't on crutches, how could you ever beat me? Face it Ashley, I won and I will always win against you."

Ashley let out a low harsh laugh. "is that all it is to you? A competition? See if you could win Matt back? See if you could take him away from me? Well congratulations you did win. You took him away and now everyone can see that you are in fact a conniving, back stabbing, little slut."

Lita's eyes narrowed and she stepped forward so they were mere inches apart, neither moving as they glared at each other waiting for the other to step down or start something but Ashley knew it wouldn't be Lita starting something. She already looked bad to everyone backstage for first cheating on Matt then blatantly taking him away from Ashley just when she was down with an injury. But Ashley wasn't going to do anything either as she didn't want to jeopardize any chance she still had with her job. But Lita didn't need to know that.

"Hey Lita." She exclaimed in a low voice. "In one night I lost the man I love and I broke my leg, which led to me having surgery which has left me really bitter. You think it's smart to be fucking with me right now? I have nothing more to lose."

Lita's eyes narrowed. "Don't talk to me about injuries. I survived a broken neck and a knee injury to which I had to get surgeries for both. So don't expect pity from me."

"I don't." Ashley snapped. "But how angry were you right after? Think about that. Then think about some stupid little slut coming along and taking the man you love right when you needed him. Now what would you do if you were me?"

She saw something, quite possibly fear, flash through Lita's eyes, more then likely from the look in her own eyes. She looked like a woman with nothing more to lose, she was still holding onto one more thing but again, Lita didn't need to know that.

The red head took a step back and Ashley continued to glare at her as Lita walked down the hall. A door opened behind her but she paid no attention until she heard a voice.

"Ah, Ashley just who I wanted to speak with."

She turned to see Vince McMahon there and without a word went into his office, not bothering to sit as he took a seat.

"How's everything going Ashley?" he asked with concern.

She stared at him trying to gauge what he was thinking.

"Are you recovering alright from the surgery?"

She gave a slight nod, still staring at him.

"There's something important I need to talk with you about." He said looking down at his papers.

Her heart plummeted and she knew what he was going to say.

"Mr. McMahon." She said, her voice low and steady, filled with determination. "I'm not leaving. I know I'm injured but I will come back from it and I'll work even harder to become better."

"I have no doubt about that Ashley. But right now there's not much you can do."

"I'm not leaving. " She repeated, "call security or whatever but I'm not terminating my contract. I won't let you fire me Mr. McMahon."

Vince looked up in surprise, noting the fierce determination in her eyes. He smiled at her. "Ashley take a seat, this may be hard for you to grasp."

Mickie and Trish sat talking in the Women's locker room. Trish was looking worried as she nodded once in awhile, listening to Mickie's tale of how Ashley completely blew her off.

"You ask me, that girl's gone completely nuts. She just threatened me."

Both Divas turned to the new voice, raising their eyebrows in disbelief.

"What?" Asked Lita.

Trish stood, her jaw set as she glared at the red head. Lita was her friend, she had known her a lot longer than Ashley, but god knows what Lita did was wrong and Trish had no problem letting her friend know that.

"I don't blame her Li. If I was her I would've kicked your ass. I would've got out of the damn stretcher and kicked your ass."

Lita rolled her eyes. "What's the big deal? I was with Matt before and we're back together now. Tell her to get over it and move on."

Mickie stood up now. Not having known Lita as long as Trish, she didn't have the same restraint. "Ashley was with Matt. Ashley loved him and this is just some sick game to you. Any respect you had from me is gone."

Lita rolled her eyes. "Big loss there."

"What is your problem?" Trish snapped. "god are you beginning to be your character or something, because Lita, you are the biggest Bitch."

Lita rolled her eyes. "of course _I_ am, it's always me. Little miss punk blondie comes in, takes my look, takes my boyfriend, is wrestling more then me and everyone takes her side. Whatever I don't need this."

With that Lita walked out, bumping into one perplexed looking John Cena, who sent her a glare to which she returned before stomping away.

"Ashley?" Mickie asked seeing the look on his face

He nodded. "you too?"

"I think she's just angry guys." Trish said, "next time I see her, I'll talk to her."

"why is she here anyway?" John asked. "Shouldn't she be resting?"

"She looked like she was on a mission." Mickie said.

"I told you to stay out of my fucking way." They heard a voice snarling from outside.

All three crowded around the door, opening it a peep to see Ashley's face red and tear stained as she glared up at Lita.

Trish and Mickie made to intervene but John held them back motioning for them to watch.

"What are you gonna do, hit me with your crutch?"

Ashley smiled wide, a big evil smile as she pushed past Lita. "careful what you wish for, you just may get it."

"What are you talking about?" Lita called after her with a scowl.

Ashley shrugged as she continued on her way,

The three inside the locker room didn't make a move until both girls were out of view.

"I'm going to talk to her." Trish said, looking after where Ashley had gone.

"naw, let me do it." John said, leaving before either Diva could argue.

He left in the same direction as Ashley catching up with her a few hallways later as she sat up against the wall, sobbing with her head in her hands.

He sat beside her and put an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his chest where she continued to cry.

When she finally stopped sobbing he looked down at her, laying a kiss on her forehead. "You wanna talk about it?"

She shook her head, remaining silent for several more minutes before she finally spoke.

"Right now I just really wanna kick her ass."

"I won't stop ya." He said with a small smile.

She gave him a small smile wiping the tears away. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

"For what?" He asked.

"For being horrible to you and everyone else, I was just so scared today."

"Why?"

She let out another sniff. "I came here today because I was scared I was going to lose my job. I wanted to tell Vince that I didn't want to be fired."

"Why would he fire you?"

"Because I'm no use. I have a broken leg and I can't do anything. What use am I?"

John sighed. "Look others have been out even longer for more serious injuries and they were always welcomed back with open arms. So why not you?"

"Because I'm not a wrestler. I'm a Diva Search winner who's trying to wrestle but is getting slammed every time she does."

"But you're tryin', that's what counts. Look at me, I'm the WWE Champion and I'm getting slammed all the time too. I got these haters riding me all the time.. Cause I'm at the top and they expect a lot from me. I know what you're going through."

Ashley shook her head. "No John , that's the difference, you're at the top, they're not going to fire you."

"So they fired you?" he asked, unable to stop his voice from cracking.

She looked at him, a small smile playing at her lips. "Would that upset you?"

He nodded, unable to look her in the eyes.

"Why? We can still talk."

"It's just not the same." He muttered, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

"Why?" She asked, her smile slightly growing as she watched him squirm.

"You ask too many questions, girl." He muttered, spinning his belt.

"You seem uncomfortable John, why is that?"

Hearing the laughter in her voice he looked up his eyes narrowing at the twinkle in her eye.

"Trish." Was all he said.

She raised an eyebrow at this. "You're uncomfortable because of Trish? Why John, do you have a thing for Trish?"

He glared at her. "She told you, when did she tell ya?"

Ashley could no longer stop the giggle from passing through her lips. "I'm sorry John, I wasn't supposed to tell you that I knew but you just looked so adorable."

"And how do you feel?" He asked, avoiding her eyes again.

She looked down her lower lip trembling. "After the whole Matt fiasco…."

"I ain't like him." John growled.

"I know." Ashley replied with a sigh. "But I can't help being-"

"Scared?" He finished for her. "I understand that and I ain't asking for nothing. I just wanna be here for you and maybe later when you feel ready…."

She leaned towards his giving him a small kiss on the mouth before throwing her arms around it, I appreciate it John, I really do, cause I just may take you up on that offer in the near future."

He grinned as he held her close but he pulled away after a few minutes and looked hard at her.

"An' what did Vince say? About your job?"

Ashley gave him a sly grin. "Your feud with Edge just got a whole lot better."

"How so?"

"Well Vince was thinking that it's only fair for you to have someone out there with you too. He was going to go with Maria but because of my injury he thought that this way I could still be out there."

"So you mean, me and you?"

She nodded. "I finally get to beat the crap out of Lita with my crutch. A fair deal if you ask me."

He laughed as he pulled her into hug before moving her to his lap "I guess we need to work on our chemistry, huh partner?"

She nodded, her cheeks flushed as she pulled him down for a kiss.


	8. Never Clean

Title: Never Clean 1/1

Author: Harmoni

Category:WWE

Rating: M for mature…. It doesn't go into details whatsoever but it does deal with a sensitive subject matter

Summary: just read it

Disclaimer: I own no one

Spoilers: none

Feedback: I don't care

Author's Note: I had to write this. I had to do something. It's short, but I had to do this.. it deal with rape, so if you can't handle it, although it doesn't go into details then I don't blame you, turn away now…. If only it were that easy…flashbacks are in italics

--- --- ---

Maria huddled in the corner of the locker room, her tattered clothes barely hanging on her as she tried her best to cover herself up. She sobbed like there was no tomorrow. Grabbing the nearest garbage can, she emptied her stomach into it.

"Why?" She cried to no one in particular as she sobbed harder.

"_Please just leave me alone."_

"_Don't act like you don't want it, you've been flirting shamelessly with me."_

"_No I haven't, I'm sorry if I led you on. I'm sorry you thought that but please don't do this."_

"_Your innocent act isn't going to work anymore."_

_He roughly grabbed her, throwing her up against the locker, wrapping a hand around her neck as he leaned in close. "I'm gonna enjoy this and you're going to shut up."_

"_Please." She whispered in a strangled voice as he grabbed her belt and began to undo it._

Maria turned to the door as she heard someone outside of it. Muffling her sobs, she crawled towards the shower area, moving into a stall as she heard someone open the door. She didn't want to be found, not like this.

"Hello? Is anyone in here?" A male voice called out

She covered her mouth to stop the urge from calling out. No one could help her. Who would believe her anyway? He was a top WWE star she was just a backstage interviewer.

She waited a few more minutes and when the door closed, her sobs broke loose, deep heart wrenching sobs at what she had just gone through.

"_Don't do this." She cried._

"_Shut up." He growled, backhanding her across the face. Her knees buckled beneath her but he grabbed her and held her up._

"_Why?" She sobbed as he yanked down his own pants._

"Oh my god."

Maria looked up into the eyes of Shawn Michael who was staring down at her in shock.

"Maria, what happened?" He knelt down and moved towards her.

"Don't touch me." She screamed, shrinking away from him.

He sighed but stilled his hand. "Sweetie, we need to get you help, I'm not going to hurt you"

She continued to sob.

"I need you to tell me what happened. Who did this to you?"

She whispered a name but he couldn't hear it.

"I can't hear you. I'm not going to hurt you but I need to help you." Slowly he moved closer and she trembled in fear but didn't move away.

"Who did this to you?"

Again, she whispered the name and this time he heard it, his fists clenching in anger.

"Maria, sweetie, I'm going to get the trainer and we're going to get you some help. We'll get you to the hospital and we'll put his ass behind bars."

"It's my fault." She whispered.

He shook his head but she continued on.

"He said I kept flirting and it's all my fault."

He put a hand on her shoulder, gently so as not to spook her but still she pulled away, afraid to be touched. "It's _not_ your fault. You said no, he didn't listen and he will pay for what he did."

She began to cry again, her sobs more quiet, more pitiful and it broke his heart.

"I'm going to get you some help." He whispered, standing up. "No woman deserves to ever go through this."

He moved back towards the door and once more she quieted long enough to speak.

"I'm so dirty. I'll never be clean again."

It broke his heart to hear that but she was right. She had been violated, her own free will, her own pride had been taken away and even though it wasn't her fault, she would always feel tainted.

She would never feel properly clean again.


	9. Just Know

Title: Just Know 1/1- song Fic

Author: Harmoni

Category: TNA.. I know eh? But I am using former WWE characters

Rating: T for teen…

Summary: Goodbye my world, goodbye by my heart, without you here, I'm falling apart…

Disclaimer: I own no one.. but y'know what??? I own the song so HA. Hahahaha. Yeah I wrote it and if you wanna hear it I'll sing really really loud for you :D

Spoilers: none

Feedback: I don't care

Author's Note: the flashbacks are in italics, the song is bolded and normal is the now. It jumps around a bit just to warn you. In staying with my great month I wrote another upbeat happy piece… yeah I'm full of shit…

--- --- ---

_She laughed, her head thrown back in merriment as he picked himself up from the ground._

"_You find that funny, do you?" he asked._

_She nodded, a twinkle in her eyes as he moved towards her. "You probably didn't though, did you?"_

_He grinned. "Naw, not really, I spent my time thinking and worrying about you slipping, I didn't think that I would."_

"_Poor baby" she pouted, pulling his face in between her hands, and placing a soft, chaste kiss on his lips._

_He shrugged. "Ice is a bitch but oh well, rather me then you."_

"_Aww, you're too sweet."_

_He smiled, grabbing her face in his hands. "Of course, it's because you're my heart and I would do anything for you."_

_Her smile grew as she leaned in for another kiss, this one longer, more passionate._

"_I love you Christian."_

"_I love you too baby." He whispered._

**Just know that I still love you **

**And think of you everyday.**

**Still fresh in my mind I can see your face, **

**Your smile that lit up my life, **

"Sweetie, you okay?"

She hastily wiped away the tears as she turned back to her locker, pulling her clothes out for the night.

"Yeah, of course I am, why wouldn't I be?"

Val sighed as she watched her fellow redhead try to be strong. But she knew better, this was killing her friend, tearing her down bit by bit until she was nothing but a mere shadow of her former self. What's worse, she talked to no one about it. She kept it inside, locked away, and pushed everyone away.

"You know you can talk to me about anything, right?" Val asked.

Christy shrugged still refusing to turn around.

"You haven't talked to anyone about it."

"Why should I? Nobody gets it, nobody understands, they didn't lose their heart, their soul mate."

Val sighed and looked down.

She was right.

**Just know that I still think of you**

**And all that you did for me, **

**The memories are here to stay,**

**I'll cherish them until the end, **

"_Who did it?"_

"_no one"_

"_Tell me who it was."_

" _Just let it go."_

"_Give me his fucking name."_

"_He said it was an accident, let it go, please."_

"_No Christy, I'm not letting it go. This-" He pointed to the bruise on her cheek. "-is not an accident. No one hits their girl like this."_

"_Why do you care?" She mumbled. "you ignored me in the WWE and have just started talking to me now."_

_He sighed, caressing the bruise on her cheek. "I do care. You've spent all your time here pushing me away Christy but I do care, I care a lot."_

"_Why?" She asked in a tiny voice._

"_Because I like you, you're special."_

"_No, I'm not." She whispered. "I'm no one special, I'm no one at all." Her lower lip trembled and he wiped away the stray tears that escaped._

"_But you are. Don't you see that?" Christian whispered, kissing away the tears that still fell. "You are someone special and if this guy had any clue at all he wouldn't be doing this to you at all. No one ever has the right to make you feel this way."_

_The tears came faster and he held her while she cried._

**Just know that I still miss you, **

**It's hard when you're not around, **

**The pains still there and still so raw,**

**Sometimes it still hurts to breathe.**

Christy watched from a monitor as they once again played the Christian tribute video. Her eyes were dry as she watched the video, trying to make herself believe he was really out there. That it was him and not some stupid video the production crew hastily put together. He deserved more then that. But then again, he deserved to live too.

"Christy."

She looked behind her to see Tyson walking towards her. She turned back to the screen, and moments later, a pair of arms wrapped around her.

"I'm so sorry sweetie."

She didn't move still watching the screen.

"I know this is really hard but I want you to know he really did love you."

"Then why did he leave me?" She whispered.

"What happened was stupid but it wasn't his fault. He would never leave you, a part of him will always be with you, you were his world."

"And he was mine." She whispered brokenly. "He was my light and just like that he was ripped away from me."

He pulled her closer and she turned burying her face in his chest, wishing that she could wake up from this horrible nightmare.

"Christy."

Tyson felt her tense and he looked behind them to glare at the man standing there. Everyone knew who's fault this really was. He had a lot of nerve coming here.

She slowly pulled away from Tyson and looked at the new arrival with anger, disgust, disdain, betrayal, but most of all, hatred.

"Why are you here?" her voice was flat, emotionless.

"I'm out on bail." He muttered, "I didn't know what else to do or where to go."

"What do you want?" She asked, her tone still flat

"I want to apologize."

She laughed low in her throat, the noise sounding foreign to her ears.

"_You_ want to apologize? The only reason Christian went with you is because he was your friend and he was worried about you."

"I didn't make him get into the car." He whispered looking down.

Christy moved quick as lightening a loud smack resounding in the air as she slapped him across the face.

"No but you snorted that god damn coke that had him so worried for your life he felt like the only way he could help you was getting into the car with you and talk some sense into you. Don't forget I was there that night. I was there. I saw the whole fucking thing. Look at me. Look at me dammit." She screeched the last part and Tyson moved closer to help _her_ if needed.

He finally looked up and she stepped even closer, looking into the eyes of the man who killed the one she loved more then anything in the world.

"You killed him." She whispered, "And I will _never _forgive you for that."

**Just know that I'm still angry, **

**But it has nothing to do with you, **

**Angry that one so young, **

**Was taken away so soon, **

_She nervously chewed her lip as she watched their friend stumble out of the bathroom._

"_What's wrong?" Christian asked her._

_She nodded her head in his direction. "He's at it again."_

_Christian looked behind them and swore. "I wish he would give that shit up he's better then that."_

_Christy nodded. "I know but there's not a lot we can do if he won't even listen to us."_

_He stood up and she quickly followed._

"_Where are you going?"_

"_To talk to him again."_

_They got outside of the club and looked around until they saw him getting into his car. Christian went to follow but she grabbed his arm._

"_Don't get in that car."_

"_Baby, I need to talk to him. He's my friend, he needs help."_

"_What if he does something stupid?"_

_He cupped her cheek before leaning in for a kiss. "I'll be fine. I'll be right back, I promise."_

_She pulled away and looked him in the eyes before hugging him. "Hurry back and be careful."_

"_I love you." He whispered._

"_I love you too."_

_She watched him walk towards the car and get in. She heard raised voices and heard the car start._

"_Christian." She yelled._

_The car was put into drive and peeled out of the parking lot._

"_Christian." She yelled a bit louder._

_A truck was coming down the road as soon as they pulled out of the drive way, smashing into the passenger side. Her world came to a complete stop before moving in slow motion and she watched in horror as the truck pushed the side of the car and she saw something go flying through the windshield. It took her a moment to realize that the something was a body and it flew out the passenger side._

"_CHRISTIAN." She screamed running across the parking lot._

_The drivers side door opened and the driver stumbled out seemingly unharmed but she pushed him aside, running to the ground in front of her car where her Christian lay, quiet, unmoving._

"_Wake up." She whispered, cradling his head in her lap, ignoring the blood that seeped through to her pants. "Please baby, wake up."_

_He remained silent, unmoving, and she felt for a pulse. Unable to find one, she broke down sobbing._

"_No." she screamed. "No, you can't take him, you can't do it, it's not fair. It's not. He was only doing the right thing."_

_She sobbed harder, her fingers softly running over his face, ignoring the cuts that were there._

"_Come back." She whispered._

**Just know that I still cry for you, **

**When I do something that reminds me of you, **

**The tears come down, and I forget, **

**How much I hate to cry, **

"Baby, I miss you. It's been 3 weeks you know. I've tried going back to work but then he showed up. They let him out how could they let him out. He's out there walking around just fine and you're gone. How is that fair? How am I supposed to live my life normally without you in it? How am I supposed to move on? I can't. I'll never be able to. You completed me, you made me who I am, you were a part of me and now there's an empty hole inside me, one that will never be filled again. When will it stop hurting? When can I go through a day without crying? You were it for me Christian. You were the one, I was ready to be with you forever, but fate is a cruel bitch and now I'm left here alone all by myself. How is that fair?

Christy sat in front of the grave, openly weeping into her hands, wondering how she would ever be able to get through this.

She was so wrapped up in her pain, she didn't see the light behind her or feel the hand that softly petted her hair, nor did she hear the whispered words meant only for her.

"You're never alone baby, I'm always hear for you."

The light faded, the hand was gone and although there was no physical presence, someone sat with her and held her while she cried her heart out.


	10. You've Got Mail

Make sure you read the authors note!!!!

Title: You've got Mail 1/1- Sequel to Just Know

Author: Music

Category: TNA..

Rating: T for teen…

Summary: Baby, you're going down the wrong path and if it means getting in touch with you from beyond the grave to save you, I'll do everything in my power…

Disclaimer: I own no one..

Spoilers: none

Feedback: loves it

Author's Note: read the story before this, Just Know.

I should explain this and what took so long to put out a sequel… when I first wrote Just Know, I lost someone very important to me. He was my sun, he made everything shine, when bad things happened he was the one who stuck by me and the one who believed me and 2 weeks after the most traumatic incident of my life, he died. He was the first person to believe I could actually achieve my dream of wrestling and to this day I'm devastated he's not here to see it happen. I won't go into details about it but after I wrote the 1st story, I was set on a path of self destruction, much like Christy is in this story, mine was a bit different though. One night I came home to an email from him the exact same as this story… No one had his password, according to his sister and ex, so needless to say it scared the holy hell out of me, but if not for that email, I never would have cleaned up my act.

The sequel took so long because i never really grieved and it was hard going back to revisit that place and having to remember what a dark time in my life that was. So I started writing it right after Just Know but I stopped and couldn't really get back to it because it hurt too much… Until I came across that email I had saved again, and figured it was time to finish this…

So thank you Shaun. Cuz I know you're still looking out for me even after all this time. I love you and I miss you…

--- --- ---

Top of Form

Top of Form

_He watched her._

_Just like he always did. _

_He watched her and he loved her._

_But he couldn't have her. Not anymore and not for a long time. Not until she joined him. And he didn't want her to. Not now, not for a very long time._

_He wanted her to live._

_So he watched her and sometimes he held her, even though she never felt it. But he still did, and she always slept easier, not haunted by dreams of what had happened._

_But when she was awake, he worried._

_He worried about what she was doing and what would end up happening._

_He worried that she would join him way too soon._

_He wanted her to live. _

_For the both of them._

_--- --- ---_

Her lips trembled as she did her best to keep it in.

She was hallucinating, or having some kind of nightmare. She had to be…

Right?

Or it was some cruel joke. That had to be it. Someone hacked his account. Some cruel person thought it would be best to play a prank on her and send her this.

She double checked the address for discrepancies but she knew just by a glance who it really belonged to and she wondered who had been able to hack it? No one knew his password, not even her and no one, save for a few people even knew about that email address.

Her hands began to shake as she grasped the mouse and with a deep breath clicked on the message. When it opened, it was blank, and she let out a sigh.

What was she expecting? A note from him? Something from beyond the grave? Christian was gone. Killed in a stupid senseless accident months ago while just trying to help a friend and nothing she could do or say would bring him back.

Nothing.

Her heart constricted in her chest and just like every other time she thought of him, the tears came unbidden, she couldn't breathe properly and she gasped for air as the sobs overtook her. She felt ready to black out but it seemed a gentle breeze smoothed her hair back and in a moment she was calm. She felt safe, relaxed, like someone was calming her and she sighed, pushing back from the desk and going outside.

She needed a smoke.

--- --- ---

_He remembered that was how it started. _

_A smoke._

_From there she started drinking. From there she moved on to the harder drugs and he could only watch. _

_And worry._

_He couldn't do anything to help because he was destined to watch._

_But not touch._

_And if his heart still beat it would have broken. _

_She had once been so strong, so stubborn, so fearless. She was smart and beautiful and did her best to help out those in need. She stood up for herself and those that couldn't and he loved her for it. He loved her for every wonderful quality she possessed and he loved her for every little flaw she had. Like her fiery temper. Sometimes it didn't take much to set her off. She was a redhead after all but he loved her all the more for it._

_But she was only a shell of her former self now. _

_She had been deduced to nothing._

_The same drug that had inadvertently killed him was slowly destroying her bit by bit._

_And he could only watch._

_And pray._

_--- --- ---_

She stared at the TV. Not really watching, more mesmerized by the colors then anything else.

"You're fucking high again."

She heard the voice, knew who it was, but she couldn't bring herself out of her foggy haze to acknowledge him.

He continued talking, she was pretty sure he was yelling at her but she continued staring at the TV. He moved to stand in front of her and she looked up at him her head moving achingly slow as she tried to focus on him and when she did, she blinked. It wasn't who she thought it was. It wasn't AJ. It was him. He had come back to her. But how was that possible? There was no way it could be. She had to be hallucinating.

"You're not really here." She whispered agonizingly slow.

"Really? Then what do you call me yelling at you."

Tears filled her eyes as she stared at the man she loved, the man she had lost. "Because if you were really here, you wouldn't be yelling at me, you'd be holding me and apologizing for leaving me. Why did you leave me?"

His jaw dropped in shock. "Christy, I've never left you, I never will. You're hurting and I'm here for you."

"You did." She shrieked. "You left me alone. You got into that car and he killed you."

"Christy, who am I?"

She covered her face with her hands. "Go away."

He grabbed her hands. "Look at me."

She did and his features melted away into that of his best friend.

"Allen." She sobbed.

She was so sure that this time it had been so real that he had been there talking to her. But it was a dream, a hallucination. He wasn't coming back.

"Look what these drugs are doing to you. You need help Christy. Christian wouldn't want you living like this."

"I can't live without him, I just can't."

She threw herself into his lap and sobbed.

Without him, she had nothing left.

--- --- ---

_He had been so close. _

_She had seen him. _

_Even if it was briefly, even if she had eventually thought it was a hallucination. She had seen him. And he would try to get through to her. To save her. It was all he had left. It was what kept him going in this afterlife, the one he had to live without her. While he was able to watch her and be near her, he wasn't able to _be _with her. And that hurt all the more. But he'd rather have it this way then have her throw her life away like she was currently doing. _

_So he'd still try._

_And he'd keep trying. _

_Hopefully soon, he'd be able to get through. _

_Before it was too late._

_--- --- ---_

She was at the computer this morning. She had been afraid to go there since that message had come from his email address but her curiosity still gnawed at her. It wasn't possible. She knew that, but what if there was another message from him?

She had to see, she had to find out.

It took her a full 20 minutes to work up the nerve to turn her computer on. Another 20 minutes before she finally opened her email. She held her breath as she did so, afraid, yet excited at what she might find.

She frowned. There was nothing there. It must have been some stupid joke.

She quickly deleted all the messages and was about to turn it off when a new message icon popped up. She clicked on it, gasping at the message that came up.

It was his email address. No subject was written but she clicked on it anyhow. In the body of the message was 6 letters.

6 simple letters.

But they were enough to send her into a panic, and she scrambled back so fast she knocked her chair back in a hurry to get as far as possible.

The 6 letters still remained.

_Please…_

_--- --- ---_

_It took everything he had to do what he did._

_But he had to make her see. _

_He had to make her understand._

_If she didn't stop soon, she would end up like him._

_Except worse because she did it to herself. _

_He could not let that happen. _

_He would die, again, if it meant saving her._

_He would not give up._

_He was so close. _

_--- --- ---_

That night she sat on her couch, waiting.

Perhaps she hadn't been hallucinating, perhaps, briefly, if only for a moment it had really been him.

He was trying to get to her. She knew he was. And she knew how to help him.

Last time he came to her when she was high. She saw him and he was real and if she had to do that again then she would do it.

If only to see him one more time.

She had to see him one more time.

She couldn't live without him.

It was kind of ironic when she thought about it. The drug that their friend took that had caused the car accident that had ended up killing him would be the thing that brought them back together again.

So she did it and she waited.

She became high and she still waited.

Time passed and she waited.

Hours later, he still hadn't appeared.

She still waited.

--- --- ---

_He wanted to scream at her, he wanted to shake some sense into her. What the hell was she doing?_

_She was making the kind of sense that was not. Her idea was completely ridiculous. _

_He would not appear. He would not even try. Not when she was like this. She would only keep doing it, hoping he would appear each and every time. But there would be a last time and then she would be no more. She would be further from him then she was now. _

"_Live Christy, please. For the both of us." He whispered. _

_Her head lifted and she looked around, a look of hope and confusion on her face. _

_He frowned. He wasn't even trying to project so why was she looking around as though she had heard him._

_He grew quiet as he watched her. Her expression dropping as she slumped further into the couch. Whether it be from the drugs or disappointment he didn't know but he stayed quiet just in case somehow she was able to hear him._

_As much as he wanted to, as much as he was tempted he would not try contact with her when she was like this anymore._

_He had to get her to stop. So he would wait and bide his time. When she sobered he would try and he really hoped he'd be able to get through._

_Her life depended on it._

_--- --- ---_

Christy woke up the next morning, looked at her alarm clock and rolled over. She missed her plane again and management had warned her that they would no longer tolerate her missed appearances. She was without a job but she could no longer care. Why should she when he was gone? It wasn't fair.

Slowly getting out of bed, she skipped the shower, throwing on some sweat pants and a hoodie as she turned on the computer. She checked her messages, some from friends, asking her to get in touch with them and again, one from Christian's email address. She became angry as she glared at the email address. This was someone's idea of a sick joke. It had to be. If there was any possible way for him to contact her he would've done so last night and he hadn't. She had to push this aside and forget about it but as soon as her mouse hovered over the delete message button, she hesitated, instead moving to open the message. She scrolled down and there were 2 words now.

_Please stop…_

She picked up the phone and called AJ. "I need you here now." She whispered.

She hung up, not waiting for a response as she continued to stare at the words in front of her. She didn't move until AJ appeared, placing a hand on her shoulders.

"Christy?"

"Please tell me this is some cruel joke."

He looked at the screen, gasping in disbelief. "Did someone hack his account?"

"Very few knew about this account AJ." She whispered.

"Christy, I- I don't know what to say."

"I need to see him."

"what?"

She shook her head. "I need to go to his grave." She choked over the last word, still unable to say it.

He nodded as she stood up and led the way out of the room. AJ turned to look back at the screen, a frown on his face. Had his best friends girl finally gone off the deep end?

--- --- ---

_His time was almost here. She was sober and he would try and he knew, he just knew he would succeed. _

_He was going to save her._

_--- --- ---_

"What's going on?" She whispered as she traced the letters on his gravestone. "Am I finally losing it?"

She was alone, sitting by his grave. AJ waited for her in the car because she needed this moment alone. She needed to sort through her thoughts and even though he wasn't there, she needed to talk to him.

She bowed her head, letting the tears fall until she felt someone cup her cheek.

"please AJ, I just need to be alone right now."

"Christy."

She froze. She knew that voice. The tears came faster as she forced herself to look up and when she did, she pulled back in fear, her eyes wide in disbelief.

"No, I'm hallucinating again."

"You're sober." He gently reminded her.

"Please, I can't handle this, not again."

"Christy, I don't have much time, I need you to listen to me."

She looked at him and when he didn't disappear or become AJ she let out a sob, throwing herself into his arms.

"Christian."

He gathered her in his arms, relishing at being able to just hold her and know that this time she felt him there.

"How?" She sobbed.

He stroked her hair. "I'm always here baby, I'm always watching you."

"But you're- you're…"

"Yes." He quietly replied. "And I don't have much time, so I need you to listen to me."

She pulled back to look at him, her eyes searching his face before she leaned into him, placing her lips over his. Finally, she pulled away.

"I had to. If there's not much time, I had to."

The look in his face was pained as he wondered how he could just walk away from this now and go back to how it was before, but he had to push that aside and focus on her.

"You have to stop this path of self destruction your on." He told her, taking her face in between his hands. "You're going to kill yourself Christy."

Her lower lip trembled as she stared longingly into his eyes. "Then I'll be with you again."

"No. You won't."

"I-I don't understand."

"Christy, you're slowly killing yourself. You are destroying yourself. If you succeed you won't end up where I am. We will never be together, don't you see that?"

"You don't understand how hard this is." She brokenly whispered.

"Yeah, I kind of do. Do you think for one minute I haven't been by your side? Do you think it doesn't hurt being able to watch you, see how much you hurt and holding you but you never knowing I'm there. It's not much easier on this side Christy but until we can be together again, we have to keep going on."

"I can't."

"You can. Quit the drugs. Go back to your job, let AJ and your friends be there, know I'm always here watching you but you have to live. For both of us. Please."

His last word sounded so far away and Christy looked up at him. "Christian? You're fading away. Please you can't leave me yet."

"I'm sorry baby, my time is up. I love you, I will always love you."

"Please Christian, not yet." She sobbed and moved towards him, capturing his lips in a kiss, even as he faded before her. "I need you." She whispered.

"I love you." He whispered back his arms going around her. She closed her eyes as she felt his lips cover hers once more.

"Christy?"

Her eyes opened and Christian was no longer in front of her. She bit back a sob as she turned to see AJ coming towards her.

"You look like you've seen a ghost." AJ said, kneeling down beside her.

She looked behind her to make sure he was, in fact, gone and she turned back to AJ, an unseen breeze smoothing back her hair. She smiled, knowing what, who, it was now.

"Christy?" AJ asked again.

"I'm ok." She whispered, her eyes meeting his as realization struck her. "I'm going to be okay."

AJ held a hand out to help her up and as she stood, she swore she could feel the slightest bit of pressure against her cheek.

Christy smiled.

--- --- ---


End file.
